She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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