apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize