hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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