Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
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