Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs speak an international language.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize