idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize