I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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