I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
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