i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize