Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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