her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize