i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize