The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You need a sexual gate keeper
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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