but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
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Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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