fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I am midnight drunk by noon
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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