i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
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I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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