I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize