How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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