This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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