we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize