there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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