worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize