Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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