just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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