Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize