I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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