I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
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officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
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Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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