is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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