i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize