my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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