dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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