I just saw a hot homeless man
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize