Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
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Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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