Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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