She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
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i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
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i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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