so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
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Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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