Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here http://tfl.nu/dn5f
  Replies (6) Good night (472) Bad night (2297) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious. http://tfl.nu/t95v
  Replies (31) Good night (2371) Bad night (1700) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R" http://tfl.nu/2koa
  Replies (50) Good night (5562) Bad night (905) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life http://tfl.nu/29yn
  Replies (11) Good night (4282) Bad night (883) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah. http://tfl.nu/uiae
  Replies (12) Good night (4328) Bad night (1243) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I have a critically important question to ask.

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I have a critically important question to ask. (519): Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist? http://tfl.nu/val5
  Replies (43) Good night (5175) Bad night (1245)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed. http://tfl.nu/r7o8
  Replies (5) Good night (1054) Bad night (5424) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better http://tfl.nu/ch4v
  Replies (19) Good night (5459) Bad night (1014) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart. http://tfl.nu/8dw8
  Replies (18) Good night (5196) Bad night (1084) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...

  (425): View more from Washington

  Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies... (425): Let's let the open bar be the judge of that. http://tfl.nu/ch8t
  Replies (7) Good night (5642) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning. http://tfl.nu/kt95
  Replies (24) Good night (5274) Bad night (1383) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body. http://tfl.nu/exdj
  Replies (5) Good night (1966) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level. http://tfl.nu/8m2b
  Replies (3) Good night (2219) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town. http://tfl.nu/ynab
  Replies (4) Good night (707) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe. http://tfl.nu/ze7a
  Replies (4) Good night (990) Bad night (230) Order T-Shirt

Randomize