1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize