Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i dont even know how to be here
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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