im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I need a beard to bite.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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