I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
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Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
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I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
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