wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize