...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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