so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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