Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize