we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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