Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
pop tarts are not kleenex
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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