..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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