It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize