YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize